“From Reaction to Participation”

A person wants life to be understandable and fair in the moment. He wants the good to be felt as good right away, and the bad not to happen at all. And when that is not the case, a protest rises inside: “How can this be for the best if I feel bad right now?”

But there is an error of perception here. We judge life in short segments, while we live inside a long process. We look at one day, one situation, one loss — and try to reach a final conclusion. But it is simply too early for a conclusion.

The Jewish approach has a simple anchor, which Moshe ben Maimon speaks of: the source of what happens is one. This means that in reality there are not two directions — “for” you and “against” you. There is one current, but you do not always understand where it is taking you.

And from this it becomes a little clearer why the phrase “for the best” need not coincide with the feeling “I feel good right now.”

A person often thinks “better” means when things are comfortable, calm, and everything is working out. But if we are honest, it is precisely such periods that change almost nothing in him. He stays the same, just in convenient conditions.

Movement begins where friction appears. Where something isn’t working. Where the familiar collapses. Where one has to put oneself back together.

This is neither punishment nor a fault in the system. It is part of growth, which cannot be lived through theoretically.

But there is an important point: suffering in itself does not make a person better. It simply creates pressure. After that it is the person’s choice — to shut down, to grow bitter, to retreat into grievances, or to begin to look, think and act a little differently.

And this is where the practicality of the idea comes in.

When something hard is happening to you, the question “why me?” usually leads nowhere. It only keeps you going in circles. A much more useful question is: “What is required of me right now?”

Not globally. Not for your whole life.
Right now.

Sometimes it is not to break.
Sometimes it is not to make things worse.
Sometimes it is simply to remain a human being in a situation where it is easy not to be one.

And at that moment you begin to participate in the process rather than merely react to it.

Gradually a person notices a strange thing: the same events can either break him or build him up. And the difference lies not only in the events themselves but in how he goes through them.

Then it becomes clearer what “for the best” means. It is not a guarantee of a pleasant scenario. It is a direction in which even hard things can be used for good — if the person takes part in it.

Judaism does not suggest closing your eyes and saying “everything is fine.” It suggests not losing your connection with the source and not dropping out of the process. Because when a person gives himself over entirely to resentment or despair, it is as if he cuts off his side of the work.

But when, even with difficulty, he stays in dialogue with life — something begins to straighten out.

Not always quickly. Not always the way he expected. But it is not only the outward situation that changes — he himself changes. And sometimes it is precisely this that turns out to be the most important result.

And only later, looking back, does a person see that what seemed a dead end was a turning point. Not because it was pleasant or easy, but because something really grew out of it.

And then this phrase stops sounding like someone else’s words. It becomes an experience he has lived through himself.